A couple of months ago, I took out all my clothes and placed them on the bed in an attempt to organize my wardrobe. I got about halfway through and shoved everything back. I hid them anywhere I could find space to make it seem like I had gotten something done. In all honesty, it was giving me anxiety – something I have been getting a lot of this past couple of months. Everything looked good on the outside but I knew it was all hell inside. I didn’t know where any item was and that actually stressed me. I now had more work to finish that was floating on the back of my mind. FYI, that list of things to do later still stresses you until you get it off your mind. But that will be another blog post.
As you were reading, I ended up not wanting to dress up and would simply grab what I had easy access to. I now looked a mess on the daily and wasn’t happy with my daily looks as if it were out of my control. Guess what now? I am having a bad day after another bad day. Catch the cycle? I don’t even have a lot of clothes. I just have a very small space to store them.
About a month later, I had had enough. So, I tried again. I wanted to be happy. So, I ran to Walmart and bought an affordable student budget-friendly wardrobe. I attempted it again and partially failed. Once again, it gave me anxiety! I only shoved things in newer places that didn’t help declutter my life, mind, and space. But I was still waking up in a funk. Waking up every morning in this room, I began to realize it wasn’t that I had too much going on. It was that I didn’t know how to be patient to organize everything. I didn’t even believe it was possible to achieve whatsoever I was after if I even knew what that was.
Anyways, I have this new obsession with tiny homes on Youtube! They are goals. Very small goals. But it had me wondering! If I did not have the patience to deal with my small side of the bedroom. How in the world was I going to deal with a whole house in a trailer? Who was I kidding?! So, what I had to do was educate myself. How does one live in a small space? How do people organize their wardrobe? What am I missing? My bedroom mate, my little sister, randomly said something that stuck with me. “Your space reflects what is going on in the inside of you”. That was a whole preaching in one sentence. My not so little sister definitely spoke some truth.
I was busy trying to cover up what exactly was going on in the insides of me. I had to figure out my emotions and its state to be able to know what exactly was going on in my bedroom. Since then, I have been working on my insides. I have been journaling, praying, listening to positive encouraging music. Well until Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion dropped WAP. Don’t listen to it! I have been talking to people in my Bible Study club. If you do not have a group of friends that you talk life with, you need to find yourself one. Perhaps, I should create one for us? What do you think? It would be a Zoom club. Let me know!
The other day, when my wellness cup was filled with nothing but goodness, I decided to take on the challenge again. Interestingly, it wasn’t even a challenge. I sorted out all the blouses from the tank tops and all the skirts from the dresses. Then I realized I had a lot to be grateful for. Everything was well placed and I didn’t have to struggle to close any doors. My space was clean and organized. My spirit was happy and well. On this mini journey of learning to deal with my space and the emotions that come attached to it, I found a gem for you.
Be patient with yourself love. We have a tendency to think if we fix the outside that will automatically fix the inside. Yet, the truth of the matter is if you work on your insides, your spirit, and soul, then that outpours into your space. Your energy is cleaner. If you are healthy on the inside, it will manifest on the outside. I know you are probably here to learn how to make your life elegant and even better. Start with stopping everything you are doing and take care of yourself. If you don't, you won't have anything to even give your own self.
Let’s talk about it! What do you think about being patient with yourself and refilling your vessel?